Friday, January 28, 2011

Nobody said it would be easy...

The simple act of holding hands
Around the lighthouse wall.

A kiss on the mouth
In the nick of time.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Watching the FIFA World Cup has proven one thing and one thing only to me... When your parents bless your body with genes of pure genius and raw talent, it doesn't matter that they orphaned your brother to pay for your art and music lessons...

Matt Bellamy and Miroslav Klose
Anthony Keidis and Carlos Tevez

Joey Ramone and Carlos Puyol

Christian Bale and Fernando Torres

Daniel Craig and Bert van Marwijk

Colin Farrell and David Villa

Ronaldhino and Donkey

Monday, December 14, 2009

Checklist for the Decade

Breathe easy. Laugh hard. Smile more. Rest only when really tired. Tire only after exercise. Crouch. Be patient with parents. Be a parent with patience. Try harder. Don't push. Run faster. Enjoy the view. Do a star jump. Look up when you're feeling down. Look down when you've been shown up. Say sorry. Express yourself eloquently. Don't be pretentious. Go for a rock jol. Sweat. Get in the ocean as often as possible. Recycle. Floss. Make a bucket list. Sing in the shower. Remember you're still young. Call up old friends more often. Less TV. More books. Get creative. Take a drive to the mountains. Climb something. Jump off something. Keep arrangements. Cancel flaking out. Don't judge. Be a good judge of character. Scream. Have the courage of your convictions. Remember you're not always right. Lie still. Show love. Hide anger. Kiss your lover hello. Kiss your lover goodnight. Kick something. Find new music and spread the word. Remember peoples' names. Do your best. Losing is someone elses' win. Enjoy the small things. Smoke less. Burn bright. Finish what you start. No when to quit. Eat healthy. Live it up. Help someone who needs it. Help yourself. Share your sandwiches. Save for a rainy day. Splash out on yourself every now and then. Stay home more. Hit the town when it deserves it. Remember it's just a ride.

To be continued...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Comfort Cocktails and Cake

Swing swing somehow it’s circles again I’ll be the rocking horse for you my friend wish was that when it comes it sure comes I’ll be the yoyo in your pocket for fun bang bang feels like I’m shot in the head I’ll be your gun I’ll be the perfect regret slam bam well thank you kindly ma’am looks like I'll need a coffee to get me on my feet again a little push is all it takes to make mistakes a small account don’t amount to much when you consider all the ways to place another button on your skirt and I’ll refrain from all the dirty details comfort cocktails and soon there’ll be sunlight on the dashboard a roller-coaster crash course explosions on the sofas and then we’ll be first out on the island in charge of all the fire sipping on comfort cocktails and cake...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Video Skills and Radio Stars - let's hit the couch...

1. Bill Hicks - The dark poet who left this world way to soon. I'll never forget the first time I opened my ears to him and he opened my eyes. We were somewhere between Joburg and Bloemfontein - my views on this world were changed forever and Bloemfontein will never be the same again. He was and still is my preacher. Talk about a prophet for the people before his time. His material is still relevant today. This guy was dialed direct....

2. Californication - The best written, well cast, edgiest and brilliantly acted series since TV was invented. It blows my mind with it's unnerving cynicism and visionary wit. The way Hank and Caren parent their child is an example to every parent on the planet. As funny as this show is, it is also hearbreaking, charming and inspiring. Bring on season 3.

3. Arrested Development - The funniest sitcom to ever grace our television sets. Never before has a programme been so cleverly written with such hilarity and well constructed plot lines. Gob's attempt at entry into/escape from a maximum security prison is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV. They pulled it after just 3 seasons but George Lopez just keeps on going???????

4. Heroes - Okay, so season 2 & 3 were slightly convoluted yet enjoyable, but season 1 was fucking awesome. I could not stop watching it. Not since we tuned into V all those years ago has science fiction been so goddamn cool and suspenseful. Let's hope season 4 sorts itself out.

5. Douglas Adams - Probably the funniest guy in the galaxy. I've read most of his books more than once and they never cease to make me laugh out loud and fall of my chair/couch/toilet/bed/lounger/seat on the tube.... "The whale was flying through the air in much the same way that bricks don't." That is some funny stuff right there.

6. John Irving - Another one of the all-time greats. The World According to Garp is my favourite book of all time [6 reads]. The humanity, observation and attention to detail of all the characters he creates is in a class all of its own. A book may be 400 pages character adaptation, 100 pages plot and 100% farce. Genius!

7. Eddie Murphy [age 20 - 30] - He's a funny guy!! Okay not so much now, but every now and then he pulls out a pearler of a voice-over and how can anyone forget: Delirious, Raw, Trading Places, Coming to America, Beverly Hills Cop? The man is a pure comic genius. "Goony gugu???" "Your wife's a big foot ain't she Gus?"

8. Ford Fairlane, Rock and Roll Detective - Sure, he was a male chauvinist pig, but when you're 15 years old and he's talking in that Brooklynese accent about cheese graters and masturbation, you're going to piss yourself throughout the film. "You didn't think we'd kill the fucking Koala Bear now did you..?" His stand-up tapes also burnt out a few of the batteries in my walkman.

9. All Tarantino - Slightly passe, and possibly an obvious choice, but I love all of his films - some more than others. This year, we can look forward to Inglorious Basterds which, judging by the previews, looks like one big fuck me of a return to form. He's still the king of conversation when it comes to dialogue. I mean he plucked John Travolta out of Look Who's Talking and made him sound cooler than Johnny Depp playing Jack Nicholson directed by hey, Quentin Tarantino.

10. Tomb Raider - I'm not the biggest fan of gaming in the world but Lara Croft and I have spent many a lonely night in London together. Adventure, platforms, mystery and problem solving, all executed by a smoking hot chick in hotpants and a crop top, makes me want to plug in the PS2 and get down to some time killing.

There's more I guess, but if I were stuck in flood with only a DVD player, a TV, PS2 and a few books, these would be all I need to keep me going 'til long after the apocalypse.... Oh, these and my Ipod.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Mona Lisa Morning

A modern man. A modern want. A need for something. A kill for some of that. A talking doll. That speaks too much. A bleeding eye. That never sees enough. A beautiful, Mona Lisa morning. A crashing car. A leg that's broke. A burning heart. For a word that's never spoke. A walking mess. A cut too deep. A shattered rainbow. And a little pill to sleep. Oh so subtle and indiscreet. A spot of sunshine. Oh so subtle and incomplete. A beautiful, Mona Lisa morning.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

If the shoe fits, make sure your jeans are not tucked into the back of it...

A fashion phenomenon enjoyed world-over by jocks, victims of bad taste as well as the occasional douche bag. I am fascinated, and at times drawn beyond my will to approach said victim and enquire as to why they have allowed their jean pant/chinos to get hooked under that little tag that seems to come standard with such items of "designer" footwear. More specifically, I ask why they bought the "Caterpillars" in the first place.